Life for Rent by Dido
Do you remember this song?
Here’s a link to the video. Go ahead and indulge, I’ll wait…
I heard this song playing in CVS the other day while I was shopping, and I immediately began singing along (I didn’t care if people were looking at me funny!) I had this album and always identified with this song. I think she’s saying that she keeps her guard up, so that she won’t be hurt, but as a result, she might end up empty-handed.
I’m a sensitive person, and I thrive on positive feedback. When I was younger, a sharp word could literally destroy me. Every time I got my feelings stepped on, I told myself that it would never happen again, that I would become an ice princess and never let myself be vulnerable again.
Anyone who knows me, knows that “ice princess” are two of the least likely words to describe me. I can’t operate that way. I couldn’t keep the guard up because it was too hard and it wasn’t really right for me.
So, how did I cope with being vulnerable and facing life, the good and the bad, head on? I thought about my choices. I could keep life and love at arm’s length to avoid being hurt and keep that escape hatch open, just in case. OR I could follow my heart and my dreams and go after what I really wanted in life.
When I got married and then became a parent, there were days when I wondered if I had made a huge mistake. But in my heart, I knew this was the life I had imagined, and that if I were alone and childless my whole life, I’d regret it. If I didn’t take the plunge and commit to my husband and my children, if I’d stayed alone, I knew I’d be lonely and wishing I had those very things! I had to be honest with myself and figure out how to go forward.
Once I knew I was still on the right path, I began to explore ways to make things better, so I could enjoy myself more and be good to the people around me. It wasn’t easy, but my hard work has paid off. Knock on wood, fingers crossed, things are going pretty well these days!
Are you keeping that escape hatch open? Keeping that shield around your heart? How’s that working for you? I hope you’ll consider jumping into life with both feet, you may be surprised how well things turn out!