Finding peace with yourself (in two parts)

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Hi everyone,

I wanted to follow up on the last peace blog about making peace with yourself first (before taking on the world).

How exactly do we make peace with ourselves?

These were a few of the options that floated through my head during the week…

  • Make peace with our time
  • Make peace with our bodies
  • Make peace with our closest relationships

Let’s look at time first:

How do we spend most of our time each day?  For most of us, the answer is probably work, whatever shape that takes.

Do we like what we do?  Are we good at it?  Does it make us feel satisfied?

Unless you have your dream job, it’s often hard to see work in this positive light.  Maybe the economy stinks and we are making due with a less than glowing job.  Maybe we aren’t sure what would be a better fit.  Maybe there is a lot of financial pressure and we feel stuck.

What are my recommendations?  If you aren’t digging your work, then maybe some brainstorming and research is in order.  What else would fit those three questions above?  Is there anyway to go after it?  I hope your answer is yes.  But if your answer is no, than for goodness sakes, call me and we’ll talk.  And in the meantime, throw your energy into the other two options (body and relationships)!

What about making peace with our bodies?

Do we treat our bodies like temples?  Do we nourish them with healthy foods, plenty of sleep and exercise?  Can we at least hit a few of those bases a few times per week?

If you can’t, I really am worried about you.  Please find ways to treat yourself right.  When these bodies start to break down from neglect, it’s hard to get back on track.  Slow and steady steps in the right direction will help, though.

One other thing about the body…do we accept its flaws and celebrate its strengths?  Example from my life: I always struggle with my weight, and I have accepted that I’ll never be a size 6.  However, I am comforted by the fact that my sturdy body has carried children, and that I have the ability to do almost anything.  I can run, walk, sit, stand, ski, swim and drive.  Not everyone can, so I’m feeling pretty good while I think about things that way.

OK, last on the list today is relationships!

Obviously in relationships it takes two to tango.  We aren’t in control of how other people behave, but we have control over ourselves.  When we speak to our partners, children, parents and best friends, do we bring our best to the table?  Do we honor them for the place they have in our lives?  Do we interact with them from a place of love?

I think we all know that bad days happen and we lose our patience and yell at our nearest and dearest out of stress and frustration.  Now what happens when we calm down?  Do we apologize for our bad behavior?  Do we try to make amends to get back to the state of peace with them?  Do we follow the golden rule and treat them as we want to be treated?

I believe that if we can take steps to prioritize our time with the good stuff, treat our bodies right, and hold up our end of the bargain in our closest relationships, life should be pretty darn good.  A the end of the day we’ll be able to sleep well knowing we’ve done our best.  That sounds like peace to me.

……………………………………………………………..

I’m sorry this is so long!  I promised you two parts, so I’ll make this quick.  This morning I listened to Dr. Ellen Langer speak on the radio show On Being.  This woman is a genius.  She’s a social psychologist and one of the things she studies is mindfulness.

Don’t tune out, she has a fresh take on it.  She does not do yoga, meditate or walk prayer labyrinths to center herself and “be present”.  All she does is pay attention.  When we walks into the room, she looks at people with fresh eyes and notices what’s actually in front of her.  She doesn’t take anything for granted, but rather looks at the details.  In this way she really “sees” people as they are in that moment.  Try it tomorrow, it will give you a new perspective!

Check out her interview here.

Good night, all!  Peace!!!

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